Blogs

 


This Is ME!!!!!!

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February 2019

Looking back at my childhood I can now see I had some issues with food - I remember when walking to school, dreading it. I was picked on and didn’t have many friends but then I started to take out my chocolate and biscuits I managed to sneak out the house and as I ate these it made me feel better. Food was a major comfort - I always felt better, but then afterwards I felt guilty as I was desperate to be slim. I thought if I was slim I would be happy and popular. I tried to diet but I couldn’t stick to it - I felt like a failure... 

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If At First You Don't Succeed.......

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March 2019

I didn't just wake up one day and decide not to eat.
It started with difficulties at work. I wasn't coping, was crippled with anxiety and living with depression.
There were warning signs that those around me noticed which I brushed aside. 
It couldn't be happening again.

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My Bulimia Story

May 2019

A comment here, a comment there.  That’s how it starts.  An innocent remark made to a vulnerable impressionable young mind can set off a catastrophic set of events, that can shape a person's life forever.  At least, this is how it started for me. 

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Let's Stop The Stigma!!!

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May 2019

After attending a 1920’s themed murder mystery event at the Swan in Wells, in aid of SWEDA I decided to learn more about the fantastic  but relatively unheard of charity.  A few months later I met with Laura Miller, Sam Best and Paula Blight, CEO about how I could help the charity.

In the meeting they presented lots of ideas and suggestions about how I could help, from Red Berry’s involvement with the charity, to me speaking at events.

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How do I speak the Truth through my eating disorder and prescription substance abuse

Phoenix now

January 2020

I speak my truth with coping strategies of an eating disorder and prescription drug addiction.

And what truth do I speak to the world with my behaviours?

I say “don't see me, I will hide in the shadows of shame”.

Because shame is safe where I remain small.  And I say “please don't see me or hear me “. I also give another clear message that says “I'm in raging anger pain and grief, but I will take it inwards to let it burn my soul”. To create a cycle of never-ending torture upon myself to punish the part of me that believes I'm inherently bad.

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Hunger Versus Fulfilment

January 2020

As the guarded Hunger is released,

Im held in a sacred embrace of desire to the endless whispers of sensuality,

Where shame no longer speaks its vitriolic acid name,

To transmute pain into soft lilting tones of a sapphic love,

To unburden the heart to bleed in truth, love and Power of Liberation.

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“Whenever I have contacted SWEDA, I have always received a very quick response, and have felt completely safe to ask for help when I have needed it. There have been periods of time when I have not needed a lot of contact, and times when I have asked for frequent contact. Talking to the same person over a long period of time has meant I have had a consistent place to go for support, and this has been invaluable."

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