This Is ME!!!!!!


February 2019

Looking back at my childhood I can now see I had some issues with food - I remember when walking to school, dreading it. I was picked on and didn’t have many friends but then I started to take out my chocolate and biscuits I managed to sneak out the house and as I ate these it made me feel better. Food was a major comfort - I always felt better, but then afterwards I felt guilty as I was desperate to be slim. I thought if I was slim I would be happy and popular. I tried to diet but I couldn’t stick to it - I felt like a failure... 

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If At First You Don't Succeed.......


March 2019

I didn't just wake up one day and decide not to eat.
It started with difficulties at work. I wasn't coping, was crippled with anxiety and living with depression.
There were warning signs that those around me noticed which I brushed aside. 
It couldn't be happening again.

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My Bulimia Story

May 2019

A comment here, a comment there.  That’s how it starts.  An innocent remark made to a vulnerable impressionable young mind can set off a catastrophic set of events, that can shape a person's life forever.  At least, this is how it started for me. 

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Let's Stop The Stigma!!!


May 2019

After attending a 1920’s themed murder mystery event at the Swan in Wells, in aid of SWEDA I decided to learn more about the fantastic  but relatively unheard of charity.  A few months later I met with Laura Miller, Sam Best and Paula Blight, CEO about how I could help the charity.

In the meeting they presented lots of ideas and suggestions about how I could help, from Red Berry’s involvement with the charity, to me speaking at events.

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How do I speak the Truth through my eating disorder and prescription substance abuse

Phoenix now

January 2020

I speak my truth with coping strategies of an eating disorder and prescription drug addiction.

And what truth do I speak to the world with my behaviours?

I say “don't see me, I will hide in the shadows of shame”.

Because shame is safe where I remain small.  And I say “please don't see me or hear me “. I also give another clear message that says “I'm in raging anger pain and grief, but I will take it inwards to let it burn my soul”. To create a cycle of never-ending torture upon myself to punish the part of me that believes I'm inherently bad.

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Hunger Versus Fulfilment

January 2020

As the guarded Hunger is released,

Im held in a sacred embrace of desire to the endless whispers of sensuality,

Where shame no longer speaks its vitriolic acid name,

To transmute pain into soft lilting tones of a sapphic love,

To unburden the heart to bleed in truth, love and Power of Liberation.

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“I saw a SWEDA support worker on campus at university. I had been struggling with binge eating disorder and compulsive exercise for about ten years. The SWEDA support worker was able to help me look at my relationship with food and my body in a different way. I have learned to be kinder to myself and they taught me techniques which helped me to slow down my thinking. Now I can go out and have fun without worrying all the time.”

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