www.swedauk.org

Hey all you lovely people!

Just thought that I would pop in...I think I will continue to pop in and out for a while and come back properly when the time is right

Just to update you, my mood has improved with the increased dose of meds, I have my cast off, and my voluntary work is going well so things feel like they are moving in the right direction

Take care all
xxx

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Turnips are misunderstood.

This is great to hear!
Hope things continue to improve for you.

Sunshine
x

excellent!! Great to hear from you.
xxx

Thank you, I am so relieved that the hard work is finally paying off It feels like an uphill slog but things are definitely different to how they were a few weeks ago How are you?
xxx

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Turnips are misunderstood.

Heya!!
Its so great to hear from you and great to hear things are a wee bit bettter...I hope more ups come with the downs for you
Big hugs xxxxxx

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“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain

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Turnips are misunderstood.

No pratical advice here but I think we should run away in a beautiful pea green boat, take some honey, and plenty of money, wrapped up in a five pound note. The various animals can join us and perhaps we could acquire an owl to make it perfect?

You are totally beautiful and I completely understnad why the scars bother you and sadly I think people will always judge and there will always be some who believe they have a right to comment on self inflicted scars but those who care about you will always just see you. And you are lovely. Scars are horrible, whether through self injury or other things (burns, skin conditions, operations) but all they show is that someone was ill or went through some sort of trauma- they show nothing about the person themselves. On a practical level in terms of nursing or other things I'm sure there are options- e.g. special allowance of longer sleeves or use of that medical make up stuff and according to my google seacrh there are things lake laser removal and special crewams that can help with the keloid ones. try not to get too ahead with worrying about it- for the most part clothing can be used for covering up when with people you know less well but for other things (like potentially nursing) there are options you can explore... and at the end of the day, fuck 'em all. We'll get our boat and sail it to our farm.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!

Love you xx

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Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don't speak birdish. :(

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Turnips are misunderstood.

Hey,
Sorry to hear you are struggling tonight.
I have scars too and I've made up my mind to try to accept them. I'm not proud of them but I also try not to be ashamed. They are battle-scars and they are a reminder of what I have survived. A true friend or lover will see beyond the surface scars in any case. Be true to yourself.
What you describe with feeling split like that is very familiar to me. The self-destructive side of me is so furious at anything at all positive or life-giving. It wants misery, deadliness, pain. Carrying on despite it's presence is bloody tricky and takes relentless effort- I know it well.
The strength you are showing is admirable and you are such a source of strength for others.
Keep going.
Elly
xxx

Oh my gosh I thought I had replied to this ages ago I'm so sorry hun. I do understand now how you feel hun, I've never really done anything to cause scarring up until recently, and I'm hoping it won't be too permanent but at the moment I feel I have to cover up completely because I know I look at myself and think "oh shit" so I don't know what others are saying. Its fine except for at the gym and when I change. But I'm trying to basically say in my head kind of what Elly said, and also just to let people think whatever they want to think, if they are going to make an assumption based on my scars that are wrong then it is a reflection of their own ignorance and issues rather than anything to do with me. I do actually really respect the people who take the the time to ask me about them rather than making a rash judgement. I don't know how old yours are, and I'm not asking, but Bio oil is amazing. Even for the oldest of scars it smooths your skin and makes them less noticeable.
And yes you do make so much sense hunny, I really understand that divide. I battle with it everyday, you aren't alone. It will be there and get stronger and weaker over time but I do believe it will get quieter the more we battle it.
Lots of love and please keep writing......and please ignore my stupidity for thinking I had written all of this weeks ago.xxxxxxxxxxx

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“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain

Oh my gosh I thought I had replied to this ages ago I'm so sorry hun. I do understand now how you feel hun, I've never really done anything to cause scarring up until recently, and I'm hoping it won't be too permanent but at the moment I feel I have to cover up completely because I know I look at myself and think "oh shit" so I don't know what others are saying. Its fine except for at the gym and when I change. But I'm trying to basically say in my head kind of what Elly said, and also just to let people think whatever they want to think, if they are going to make an assumption based on my scars that are wrong then it is a reflection of their own ignorance and issues rather than anything to do with me. I do actually really respect the people who take the the time to ask me about them rather than making a rash judgement. I don't know how old yours are, and I'm not asking, but Bio oil is amazing. Even for the oldest of scars it smooths your skin and makes them less noticeable.
And yes you do make so much sense hunny, I really understand that divide. I battle with it everyday, you aren't alone. It will be there and get stronger and weaker over time but I do believe it will get quieter the more we battle it.
Lots of love and please keep writing......and please ignore my stupidity for thinking I had written all of this weeks ago.xxxxxxxxxxx

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“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain

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Hi Tamtam,

I don't think that you were on the boards when I was here or if you were, we didn't talk much, but I just want to thank you for sharing your writing. I'm mostly recovered - have little blips but what you shared makes me realise how far I've come and how much I should be proud of what I have achieved...

I have 1 photo left of how thin I was back in the day - I had sort of kept it as a reminder of how I didn't want to go back there but also a teeny tiny bit as pride for 'how bad' I was. I now realise that I need to let go of that when I get home from work...

I really appreciate these boards - having a safe place to come when I'm feeling a bit low, even if I don't post. In recovery, I let go of my religion to find myself and so lost the extended family of God that came with it... It's nice to know that I still have my SWEDA family where I feel accepted and understood and safe...

Hope you are all ok xxxxxxxxxxxx

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Turnips are misunderstood.

It is good to know that something can be done for your scars. How are you feeling about the timescale of it all, having to wait 18 to 24 months?

Hope you can relax tonight and enjoy TV.

Take care
X

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Turnips are misunderstood.