I'm having a bit of a hard time at the moment eating-wise. I'd been in really good recovery for about a year but due to uni pressures etc I've started to slip back. I've been really open and honest with everyone, including the doctors, about my little wobbly patch and have asked to be referred. Everyone is offering me loads of support, except my boyfriend. This is upsetting me and triggering me more than I can explain. Sometimes he tries to be really supportive but I think it's an act. It all came out the other week, drunkenly, that he thinks I'm fine because I'm not underweight, and that I'm just "saying all these things for attention." He thinks I'm fine because I eat in front of him at home in the knowledge that I can restrict when I get back to college. Today he got really angry with me for the EDAW post on my fb about EDs not being a 'phase,' and said it was aimed at him. When I finally convinced him that it wasn't, I posted the media article I've been interviewed for, which unfortunately has the headline "I want to be normal and go out for dinner," which is a complete misrepresentation of what I was saying. I said to James "what shall we do tomorrow night?" and he immediately replied "Well we can't go out for dinner because you're not normal."
Sorry for the rant, I just feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall, and that the one person who should be supporting me is making me feel like I need to REALLY prove I am ill, which is such a negative thing. If anyone has any ideas about what to do (he doesn't like talking about my ED) I'd be really grateful.
Don't beat yourself up when you 'fail'. You've not failed, because the only way to truly fail is to stop trying.